So, in case it’s not entirely obvious, I’m not in the best head space.

This job at the restaurant is COMPLETELY over and beyond what I want to be doing - the owner is essentially acting like I had gone into this business with him as the investor/money and me as the business manager. Except I’m not invested in this business. Even a little bit. I don’t honestly care if it sinks or swims, but I do care if it pays me. I haven’t signed anything, haven’t been told about my workman’s comp, and I have been meeting people, drawing up contracts and tomorrow must interview people all day and make a schedule for the restaurant.

I really just want to be a waiter.

Tomorrow, I think I’m going to try to get him to hire someone who is actually invested in managing and get him to let me off the leash a bit - I’m hoping he won’t just decide to let me go, but I have no idea what I’m doing and it’s really more than I want to take on.

Anyway, the non-point is this: I‘m going to do a zine. Not like a stories-glue-diary entries type of zine, but I want to create an object that can be put on your coffee table and you have to really give it a good look. I want it to be visual and though provoking. This is a two-fold effort; one is to increase my design skills in an interesting and creative way and two is to engage my brain in a way that I really enjoy while I’m working (or not working) my way through this kind of chaotic period of my life.

So the theme for my first issue that I will hopefully have finished within about a month or two is going to be “modernity” - in particular, the triumphs and failures of the modern age to incorporate humanity into its embrace; existentialism about skyscrapers and car loan payments, if you will. I would love it if any of you had anything you’d like to submit - a graphic, a story, a photograph, art. I would incorporate it in a way that would remain true to your submission, but I would obviously take some liberties with the design a bit for the print. I plan to send this out - some for free, some for charge - so we’d have to come to an agreement on that.

Oh, and I’m going to call the publication modernism.

But anyway, please email me if you have an idea for the zine at ethan.g.brown@gmail.com.

Thanks.